Timothy Ferriss talks about having "uncomfortable conversations" - taking the issues you are having with a relationship (whatever that may be, personal or other) and dealing directly with that person quickly. It's only uncomfortable for a short period of time, but is so much more effective than waiting for someone to change or dropping hints. Scott Smith has provided a brief script we could use, which is basically "I have something to say that will be uncomfortable for just a moment, but I believe that it will clear up many things and we can move on."
"Human nature often impels us to look at others in our lives and cry, 'But you don't care. I can only love you if you love me.' Our human nature tends to withhold and wait to give until we're sure we'll get benefits for our emotional time and trouble.
But how contrary human nature is to true love! When we long for someone to change, sometimes the best step to take is the first step - acting not the way things are but on the way we wish a relationship to be. Choosing to have faith in a relationship is always a risk. But more often than not, when we're willing to take the first step, changes happen - in us and in those we long to be close to." (Chapman, Gary. Love is a Verb. p 44)Patience and perhaps visual and physical reminders can help us to get the changes we want. JB Glossinger often talks about flicking a rubber band that's around his wrist to change negative thought patterns. I've read of others having lists they read every day of the positive attributes they see in their spouses. These seemingly little things can make all the difference in your journey of change.
May you have peace today and always,
April
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